I recall a time when I decided to allow spiritual change. I was meeting with a person, now very much a friend, who seemed to me to be “seeing” differently. At an early meeting we talked about my feelings and emotions. I was uncomfortable and full of thoughts, confusion and questions. As we talked about life and me, I wondered, who is this person and what is it that is different here? The friend was saying: "If you wish, I offer you a different way of seeing your spiritual life". I was, in one way nervous, in another eager to understand. What I was being presented was something that appeared to me as difficult to grasp and hazy. Nevertheless I was being offered an alternative way. My process was hesitant and I looked for assurances that what I was considering was not just another trick of life. I had many questions but initially they were questions of avoidance. I was reasonably comfortable where I was, why would I risk change? But I yearned for a better understanding of myself, and here I was being asked if I wanted to discover. The thought process kept crashing in: what if I am let down and hurt again? But then, what was I holding on to?

 

Previously I had not been an un-spiritual person but I was wearing some scars from past experiences, nonetheless in due time I did dare to commit myself, for that was all I was being asked to do. My friend and I agreed to meet more regularly. I was making a resolution where I knew I had to be open to change. Not forced or pressured into change, but change because I chose and wanted. I remember on many occasions my mentor saying: "I offer. You choose.”  I did choose, I chose to seek.

 

Early on and encouraged by my mentor I started to write down a jumble of notes from our meetings in what became a stack of exercise books. Many writings were repeated, many became more refined.  This text you are now reading is a compilation of many of those notes. They were originally done for me to personally sort out my feelings, but as I developed the text and talked to others, one or two people asked me for a copy.  (I find it difficult to relate the content verbally). Now I am able to offer the text. In it there is finally more flow to what were very haphazard jottings. I have had difficulty with sequencing and  avoiding repetition. This, I am sure, was meant to be, for I have come to understand so much more during the development of these words. This is the text of a journey, of my coming to know.

 

I continue to write, as this seems for me to be how I arrive at an understanding. It has all helped me to become a more awakened person, closer to my being. I see people, animals, insects, trees, the ocean, all of nature differently. I see myself more clearly. I see others as souls on a similar journey. I perceive differently. As I become more conscious of myself I am more likely to choose the path of love, peace and truth. I accept that this is so.

 

Is my journey complete? No. There is more to do, so much more. I have yet to reach my destination but I am guided in my journey. I now better understand that if I do not love my friends, neighbours, perceived enemies and all nature, then I am not loving myself. I continue to look inwardly to learn more of myself and come to an ongoing recognition of these things.

 

You may identify what I have written as being different from your perception; that is the joy of individuality and free will. Statements may seem significant to one yet be inconsequential to another. It is not for me to judge how these writings are received, they are offered in love. It just is.

 

I rarely see my spiritual friend now but we both continue along the path. Sometimes perceiving differently!

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